Fifty Shades of Evelynn
by satansslave
Summary: ERRORS AND MISSING WORDS FIXED*Evelynn,an abused orphan meets Christian when she was going down.Christian made her an offer to save her life.Did the offer save her life or made it worse? Where does Ana stand in all this mess?
1. Chapter 1

An ordinary day. I hate waking up because everything is same as yesterday, and the day before and the day before... I looked at the watch on the nightstand.. shit! it was 8.20 am and i was late! I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. Now what to wear? Oh, right! Because I had soo many options. I had the best closet in the world I mean look at all those worn jeans and old t-shirts.. God I love my life. I grabbed an old jean and a white t-shirt and of course, can't do without, sneakers. Yeah sneakers. White, to be more spesific. I grabbed my cigarette pack and my books and jumped out to catch the first bus.  
I got out of the bus and made my way to the campus. What' s that crowd? An annoying voice, of course it was Matthew, jumped me a few inches high.. See? Another reason for sneakers.

"Hey Evelynn, have you heard?"

"I don't know, have I?"

"Ha-ha funny. The lectures had been cancelled. A few big shots will be here to give us some speechs"

Yeah, because you are so different from them. A fancy boy studying, of course, art history with his senator father's money.

"Well i should not have spent all that effort" I replied

"See you at the conferance hall, we have to attend by the way. No skipping. Can you believe we have to listen 'how did I get rich' crap"

For the love of God... Why doesnt he share this ideas with his father and wait to see who will be paying for the school expenses in the future.

"Okay, I'll be there" I said. God it's only 10. 12 am. Should I go home? I' m starving by the way.

I found myself sleeping on one of the desks in library at the end. I lifted my head, looked at my watch and it was 11.46 am. Well i should get going. I packed my stuff in my backpack and made my way to the conferance hall..

I found an empty seat and I too close to the podium? I looked around. Smiling, chatting people, couples, nerds, friends.. All normal.. normal people who has normal lives.. I could kill for that. A few academician and the dean entered the hall. While I was watching around, the row before me filled with men in suits. They were talking about profit, trade, companies and all sort of things.

The dean was introduced by the honorary student of the Philosophy major.. Philosophy.. is that even a major? The girl' s name was Miriam i guess and she was looking at the front row with sparkling eyes. Yeah good luck, I bet she will take one of the guys to the gym spot. She's cute thought, but she talks too much. The dean starts talking ;

"Dear students and..." God, this is going to be a long noon. "...in this academic year, we continue to give our students the best opportunities and..." Of course, you have every opportunity for 60.000$ a year, why don't we talk about the opportunities you have for the students on full shcolarship.. like nothing.

"Now, I would like to represent you Mr. Christian Grey, who is a very generous donators of our university and a successful businessman"

Applauding, applauding. One of the guys on the front row stood up to humbly -yeah very- salute the crowd. He was younger than the others. He looked nice and arrogant. Well okay, the arrogant is an addition from my prejudice but he' s gotta be right? He looked behind and for a minute he stopped to look at me. Why, what' s going on? He' s still looki.. Hey! Stop it, I hate to be looked. He finally turned on his heels and stepped on the podium. He shook hands with some academicians. A nice smile he has... Now he will give a speech about education issues and world hunger like he cares.

"It's great to be here on this lovely day" here we go " As a person who values education and educated individuals..."

It took him around 10 minutes to explain how he pays for the lab expenses and our scholarships in a kind way. In the meanwhile, I was thinking about how would it be to be his girl. You know, he has it all; money, looks. I bet she is very beautiful. Now she would spend hours in front of her closet thinking about what to wear. He finally thanked and stepped down to take his seat. Here! Happened again! He looked at me I swear. I'm not dreaming and I' m definitely sober! Why? And I don' t know why but it kinda... annoyed me. Why would he look at me? I mean.. come on!

I looked at the moving crowd and assumed the event was over after four more speechs. Well, it was still early and i could stop by the garage to help the boys.

"You are leaving early, aren' t you going to wait for the coctail?" A voice asked me.. i gues.. I turned around to see that guy.

"Well, the attendance was mandatory.. and I .. really gotta go" And I gave him the best and kindest explenation ever in exchange of his 'what the hell are you talking about' look.

"So you are saying it was a torture to listen to me?" He was grinning

"Well...no. I never said that" Another clever explanation.

"Can I at least have your name?" he asked.

"Evelynn" I said. "I really must go"

"Allright then Evelynn, I' ll see you around" he said

"Okay, bye" I said and left the room. I would give better answers if he wasn' t grinning.. hold on a minute.. see me around?

"Welch? I want you to find some information about a girl named Evelynn, I' ll give you more details altough there are not many details. And I want you to find out how did she get that cuts on her arms.


	2. Chapter 2

I can't stop thinking about the cuts. Wonder what happened.. I' ve been waiting for a call from Welch since this morning and it was 3. 17 pm and still on... It was a hopeless case as her name was all I know about her.. and the were smooth and clean.

Still no phone call from no Welch. And it was... 3. 19 pm? I' ve been waiting for like a year. I could go wander around the campus, yeah, if i didnt have some self respect. God! It cant be that hard!

The phone rings and I grabbed the phone right away

"Yes"

"Mr. Grey, your 3. 30 is waiting" it was Andrea.

"Cancel it!" I snapped the phone and got back to my papers. I was trying to read some papers waiting for my signature to kill time but there was no way I could focus.

16. 03 pm.. I could leave early today. I' m not working anway because I turned out to be a teenager since yesterday. The phone rings! Finally!

"Welch?"

"Yes, sir. I found three Evelynns in the campus register. The names are..."

"Describe the looks, I don't know her last name"

"Okay sir. One is a red head, Irish and remarkable lips"

"Not that one" I said impatiently

"Second is an afro american with honey coloured eyes"

"Sounds nice but no"

"Last is more like a ghost sir. Pale white skin blonde or more like caramel coloured hair and blue eyes"

"Yes! That' s the one!"

"Evelynn Dormer. 20 years old , studying mathematical engineering on full scholarship. Lives alone in a flat around the campus. Could not find much about family or personal life. According to her medical records she attempted suicide twice in high school but hospitalized just in time at both. Does not have much friends and no one knows if she is seeing someone"

"Thank you Welch good job"

Allright, there was a lot of information and nothing about her at the same time. Suicide? Why? The cuts can't be suicide marksI could say that. A knock on my door took me away from my thoughts

"Come in" God dammit

"Mr. Grey? For lunch what..."

"Jesus Andrea! If I wanted lunch I would let you know right?"

"I'm sorry sir" she left my office. I didnt want to be bothered in any way right now. Welch gave me too much to think about. Now where did that girl come from? Evelynn... a nice name. I looked at the little piece of paper where I wrote down her phone number and adress. Should I call? Why shouldnt I? I mean it was obvious I would be a fairy tale for her. What else could she want?  
Okay, she is not like me. She looks rude and mannerless. She is not for me. And here goes my efforts of convincing myself not to call her. Jesus since when i discriminate people? What' s that sound? Shit! When did I dial her number?! Its ringing god dammit! It' s only natural as I dialed the num... dammit!

"Hello?"

I didnt know what to say for a moment. I guess I wasnt expecting her to answer.

"Hello?" she said again

"Hi there, miss Dormer. I told you I would see you around"

"Who' s this?"

"I' m Christian Grey" I said.

"And that would be..?"

"I' m sorry I never introduced myself to you. We met at the conferance, remember?" Of course you remember... please remember.. Remember goddamit! Shut up Grey! Since when you are like that? Okay she doesnt remember, stupid little thing!

"How did you get my number?" she remembered, finally. Yeah Grey explain her how did you find her number.

"There is nothing beyond my reach miss Dormer. So what have you been doing?"

"Umm.. nothing much just studying.. Is there a reason why you called?" she asked. Yeah Grey is there a reason why you called?

"I thought we could have a coffee sometime" Wait.. oh what? Hey world you gotta hear this.. coffee! Am I seriosuly asking her out for date? Nah.. I don't think so.

"I am not sure if I have time" She sounds... tense.

_'Actually, why don' t you come over? I am alone... I' ve been alone for a long time and I am about to take a shower. Why don' t you join me?'_ Stop it Grey!

"It is such a lovely day. It' s a bit rainy but... Do you like rain?" Does she like rain?! What the hell is wrong with you Grey?!

"I do, but I dont have time. Thanks though. I gotta go, have a nice day"

I just looked at the phone. She hung up.. Okay thats the wake up call! Enough Grey. This is over! And what the fuck was that? Why was she so tense.. she sounded what? Scared? She is not suitable for my demands anyway.. Only problem is.. I' m becoming obsessed.


	3. Chapter 3

Whats that about? Why would he call me? Drink coffee with me? He must be insane.I dont know whats that but that cant be good. More likely, that cant be..

I could not help but thinking that it could have been Michael who called. I got excited for no reason when I saw an unregistered number but of course it couldnt be Michael. I wonder what is he doing right now. He must be with Katherine. Doing... I dont know, couple things? Michael is a romantic, although I never got to see that side of him. He came and he gone.. What was I thinking?

I never got over him. He was the one of many missing things I had in my life. Like a family and a life. We dated like three weeks. Well.. more like I waited by the phone for three weeks. We went out for dinner one time, it was a short evening. Probably did not mean anything to him but I was thrilled. I remember how happy I was and I remember how I believed things could go better for me from then on and then I remember the phone call from Michael the other day "I dont think we are suitable for each other Evelynn". I stopped breathing at that moment and I could never breathe again.

Three weeks wasn't much but I expected a lot, I guess. It usually happens when I dream a lot. The last thing I heard, he got back to his ex-fiancee. As usual, other people moved on, I was like 'dont know what to do'. It' s not his fault. Seriously. I dont blame him. I wouldnt want to be with me either, I mean look at me. I am fully aware that there is nothing I could give to a man... literally nothing. But it is not a crime if I wanted to know what is it like. What is it like to be safe, to be loved, to know that there is someone to protect you, how is it like to not to be scared at nights, falling asleep without thinking of ' what if they come to my door? what if they find me? what if it all happen again?'. I guess I asked for too much.

The thing is, he could have saved me if he wanted. It was just so easy. There is a discrimination like me and the rest of the world. There is a fine line between and all he had to do was to hold my hand and take me to the other side of that line and I was going to be one of them, one of the normal people I watch everyday.

Anyway, I need to study. Being on a scholarship was hard enough for me and when Michael was gone, the world collapsed before me. I was going back to my old life waking from a fantasy _**I** _produced and as a result, I lost one of my scholarships. I was having difficulties paying my rent, feeding myself and living a life. I had to pass my failed lectures to gain it back, so I could have a real dinner. And the worst is,winter was almost here.

-  
Now I have seen the playroom, I' ve seen every corner of this house, but that locked door has been bugging me ever since I met Christian. What was behind that? Sometimes Christian goes to that room, closes the door and sits in the dark for hours. I' m going to loose my mind! Why am I not allowed in there? Why none is allowed?!

"Good morning Miss Steele"

"Good morning Mr. Grey" I smiled at him. He smiled back running his hand through his hair. Sleepy Christian was adorable.

"Breakfast?" he asked. I got excited by an idea.

"Actually, I want to sleep a few hours more" I told him

"Oh, you got too tired last night Miss Steele?" he smiled. I blushed

"Obviously" I replied.

"As you wish" he said and went to shower. I heard the running water and I falled asleep.

When I woke up, Christian was off to work. It was my only chance. Either I was going to do this or I was gonna loose it.

I made my way to the room and found it unlocked. Of course, Christian must have been in before he went out for work. Even Gail could not go in without permission. She knew what was that room about but she would never tell me.

The door was unlocked.. that' s what matters now...  
I didnt know what to find inside. I' ve seen the playroom, so what could this be? The curtains were tight closed and it was almost dark. I turned on the lights. I didnt have much time.

It was a regular bedroom but definitely different from the aura of the condo. It was more.. childish.. and comfy... and felt absolutely safe.

A fireplace, that was interesting. Large pillows in front of the fireplce. A big twin bed again filled with soft pillows, a tv -which was a first in this house,a tv in a bedroom- softy rugs, a desk and a bookshelf. A large sofa by the window accross the fireplace. The room was all bright coloured. It was definitely so different from the rest of the apartment. I felt great in the room. I felt like a child who is safe all the time. No evil thing can get to me. But there was something about that room. Like the owner left in a hurry or the owner didnt know it was the last time he/ she saw this room while leaving it.

Now I knew it was not Mia' s. His sister never slept over and he couldnt stand her a full night although he loves her so. I walked over to desk and found an ipod, a shut down blackberry and books. Study, perhaps. The most played song of the ipad was _Mary Elizabeth Mcglynn- Letter From The Lost Days._ It was terribly depressing.

"what the hell are you doing here?" His voice almost scared me to death and when I turned around I saw Christian was staring at me in shock. He was mad, really mad and he looked like as if I broke something sacred.

"I wanted to know what was in here"

"How many times have I told you that no one is allowed here! NO ONE!"

I got my courage to ask him. I had to. Now or Never

"Whose room is it Christian? I think it' s time you shared this with someone or whatever you are keeping will kill you"

It worked. He looked at me -still very careful- with sad, tired eyes. After a struggle within he answered

"Evelynn' s" Evelynn? Old submissive? Never heard of her..

"Who is Evelynn?"

"Does it matter? She is dead"


	4. Chapter 4

I can't believe I' m wandering round the campus with a cup of cheap coffee. Feeling like an idiot, I' m waiting for the ice queen to come out of the class. I spot a few girls checking me out, but all I see is handcuffs when I look at them.

There she is, leaving the coming out of the block. Looking amazing,exactly as how I remember her. Thight jeans, long wavy hair, a grey t-shirt and sneakers.I can buy a few things for her although I love this natural, simple look of her. She doesnt speak to anyone, almost she isn' t even aware of the world around her. She lights a cigarette and sits on the one of the stairs. Hmm.. a smoker. I don' t know what to feel about that. I usually do not prefer smokers. Well, enough is enoug. I' m going to use Grey spell and it has to work.

"Hello again" I said. She lifted her head to look at me. She looks confused. Oh for God' s sake can' t she just recognize me at once for one time?

"Oh, hi. What are you doing here?"

"I was just hanging around, you know"

"Hanging around in fron of the engineering department?"

"Well as you know, I stop by to check how the progress is going. We are working on a plan to expand food resources"

"Sounds like the Faculty of Agriculture"

Shit!

"Well, nice hanging around then" Oh no no no don' t go just now.. What' s this neverending hurry?

"Actually, I was thinking I could take you out of here for a coffee break. Obviously you study hard to keep your scholarship. You could use a break"

"How do you know about my scholarship?" Fuck! It slipped away!

"I did not know it was a secret"

"It' s not.. but.. anyway I don' t have tim..."

"I know a good place a couple of blocks away"

She stopped a minute to think about the offer, but I knew the answer would be no. I wasn' t gonna buy it this time.

"Come on it' s just a coffee"

She gave up "okay, just a coffee and fast" she said looking bored of me.

It was a short and silent walking. We walked into the coffee shop and found an empty table. A waitress came to take our order. Ah here we go.. Looking at me and blushing. I wish I could tell anyone that I'm not interested with a goddamn relationship. What are you thinking right now? That we can hold hands and go to see a movie? Hello, honey I' m on a mission here.

"Two colombian with light milk and one with no sugar please" I just had to send her away from me.

"Of course sir" I directed my attention back to her

"How' s the school?"

"Fine" Okay that was short.

"Your grades are promising. I would never leave you alone until you were convinced to work with me, unfortunately we don' t need mathematical engineers"

She looked at me like she was calculating a possiblity. Finally I got her attention.

"I would really like to know how do you learn all those things about me"

"I can reach any information I want, let' s say"

"Great. Don' t you have a girlfriend or something?"

No, honey I don' t. Instead I have girls to tie up and tease with toys you have never seen.

"No, I' m not exactly a relationship guy"

She doesn' t care. She just asked that because she could' t find a chat subject and the air was getting weird.

The thing is, she is more pale than she should be and I can swear she is shaking slightly. She can' t wait to leave, but now I can see the reason is not me. The waitress came back with out coffees.

"Anything else sir?"

"We are good, for now"

"So have you been living alone for a long time?" I asked.

"I always lived alone" she said.

"Does your family live here?"

"I haven' t seen my family since I was 12"

"I'm sorry, they passed away?"

"No, they are perfectly alive" an ironic grin appeared on her face. God damn little trouble! She just has to make me more curious with every word she says.

"Thanks for the coffee, but I really must go" _I've got nothing for you" _Thats what she means. But I already know that and that hasn' t stopped me before. I don't know why but I'm gonna get around her walls.

"Only if you promise me for the next time"

"Promise? You reach me anytime you want anyway" That's more like it baby, you are learning.

"I consider this as a yes. I' ll have my driver to take you home"

"No need to thanks. I have a few errands to run" What' s the anxiety? She grabbed her stuff from the table in a hurry.

"Allright then, I' ll see you soon"

"I' m sure you will" She smiled and left the place. Well she knows how to smile, thats a first. I fished my phone from my pocket.

"Taylor, I' m still at the coffee shop. Hurry"

Taylor was already around the block. It took me 5 minutes to get in my car.

So we started to follow this mysterious girl. It was getting dark. She made her way through the back alleys like they were her home. Her first stop was a bar named Random. Judging by the look and the location, the place was trouble.

In a few minutes, she left the bar with, shoving some money in her pocket, I assumed not much. Then she started to walk again. Taylor wasn' t asking anything, saying anything which was the reason why I was working with this guy. We kept the distance and slowly drove after her. Welch is missing something, but what? I was holding her ipod which she forgot at the coffee shop. I didn't say anything. Maybe I thought I could learn more about her by her music choice. She changed her direction suddenly.

"Stop Tylor, pull over the possible nearest spot to her"

"Yes sir"

I left the car and went after her, keeping the distance between us. She stopped near a street ligt. Started to wait. She was getting paler. What the hell is going on? She was looking sick, like it was hard for her to stand on her feet. She was impatient and kept looking around her. I was indecisive. Should I show my face? Go to her? Ask her what the hell she was after?

A guy approached to her. She turned around. Who the fuck was that? He was tall, muscular, way too muscular, with a shaved head. How many fucking tattoos does he have?

"Finally, dammit!" she said

"Easy chick. This will worth waiting"

"I don' t care! I need it now!"

"Let me see the green first, then"

She gave him the money she fished from her pocket with shaky hands and took something from him in exchange

"Hold on" he said as she was leaving "this is not enough"

"That' s all I have"

"I need more, girl, this is quality shit" he grabbed her by the arm. That does it!

"Hey, let the lady go"

"Who the fuck are you man?"

"I said let her go"

Taylor came to my rescue.

"We don' t want any trouble just go" he said

"You are crazy motherfuckers. You know I will find you right?"

"Get the fuck out of here" I snarled. When I turned around I saw Evelynn about to collapse. I ran to her and hold her.

"Here, I got you. Taylor! Get the car!"

She was shaking and sweating. She was trying to say something but I could not understand. Taylor arrived and I carried her to the car.

"Call doctor Williamson, I want him at home before we get there"

"Yes sir"

"Evelynn? Can you hear me?" Her eyes were closed. I had to do something.


	5. Chapter 5

I lied! Is that what you want to hear?" growled Christian.

"About what?" I asked, feeling like as if my heart was being choked out of my body.

"That I never wanted more.. I never wanted more after Evelynn"

So it was true.. He really lied..

All those times I felt I was the one was just my imagination. The guy I was about to get marry was in love with someone else and told me I was the first who he attached emotionally.

I took a deep breath. No matter what , I needed to know more.

"Please, tell me.. tell me all of it I need to know" I said in tears.

"Ana , please stop crying. You know I hate to see that"

"Then tell me!" I was getting more hysterical.

"Doctor came to examine her and she rested a few days. That 's enough Ana"

"Was she a submissive?" The million dollar question..

"Yes and no. She was more than that" with his answer, everything shattered.

"Evelynn was different Ana. She was different than any other women I met before. She was just like me,only worse. She needed me and I needed her. She was submissive, but not in the playroom"

How the hell is that? Now I could put myself among those fifteen, after all, I was one of them. Why? Why Christian gave her the heaven when he wanted to hurt us all?

"How did she die?" I hated myself for relieving to know that she was dead.

"She dissapeared. I don' t want to talk about that night. I don' t want to remember. Welch searched her for weeks.. She was nowhere.. Goddamn nowhere.. Then someone left me a message saying she was dead. We could not track the number. It was a man. I doubt even Evelynn knows him"

I couldn' t believe I actually saw tears in his eyes. His pain was I could touch it.

Then why was I feeling like I was beaten by a dead person?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What happened to me? Where is this place? I am so tired. A nice room that I am in as I can see. A big bed, very comfortable. I turned my right side and saw someone sleeping on a couch by the bed. It' s that guy, Christian, I guess. He opened his eyes by my movement.

"Evelynn.. thank god! How are you?"

"Not good. Where is this place?"

"ıt' s my place, don' t you remember last night?"

In a second , every moment passed before my eyes. Oh, God..

"Yes, I do" he looks sad. Like I have a terminal illness.

"The doctor agrees with me by the way"

"About what?" like I don' t know

"You have to put an end to this Evelynn, you are destroying yourself"

"I am fully aware of that" I replied. This is exactly what I am hoping for.

"Can you get up or you want your breakfast here?"

"What time is it?"

" 10. 30 am" what? It just gets better. I' m in a stranger' s bed after a drug crysis and I slept till 10 am. What the hell am I wearing anyway? A cotton night dress. Simple but very comfy.

"It' s Gail' s"

"Who is Gail?"

"She cooks and cleans for me let' s say. You want to take a shower? Well Gail gave you a bath last night actually but if you want a shower I can get some clean towels"

That is so... humiliating.. Just humiliating.

"No, listen I gotta go. Thanks and sorry for everything"

"You are not going anywhere, we will talk after breakfast"

"I am not rally hungry right now" I just need a cigarette

"You WILL eat" what' s that?

He held his hand to me and I left my hand in his. He helped me get up. There was something with this guy but I just could not trust him. Well I never trust anyone but.. He gave me slippers, very soft and warm. This was probably the first time I wasn' t cold when I got out of bed. His hand... was warm and felt safe.. I pulled my hand right away. He looked offended but did not say anything.

The kitchen was nice but like the rest of the house was looked cold and like a hospital. A blonde woman , who was too good- looking to be a housekeeper. She looked much better and younger than me. I felt ashamed for some reason. Not a single part of me belonged to this place, this lfe.

Tv was on and Good Morning America was on air.

"Don' t you need to go to work?" I asked hoping for a positive answer.

"I' m not going today." Wonder why? I do not want him to be here all day. In fact I do not wanna be here.

The woman, Gail, put two plates the table. It was looking so good and smelled so good. I don' t always eat hot food for breakfast.

"Would you want coffee?" she said smiling. A nice accent.

"I' ll have tea"

"Of course, coffe Mr. Grey?"

"Yes Gail , please"

Please...he says please when he is talking to his housekeeper.

"I worried ,you know" he said when Gail turned around

"Why?"

"I don' t know, you have a weird affect on me" now what does that mean?

"You will spend the day resting" again.._Will.._

"I can' t. I have to go home"

"No, you don' t. Now stop arguing with me and eat"

What happened to this guy? Is he mad? He acts weird. He was not like that before.

This plate is more than I eat a day. I can' t eat this all. He looks serious. He scares me for some reason.

I shut my mouth and started to eat. Everything is bugging me. I have to know about this guy. I hate uncertanity. Bad news always come after that.

"How did you find me?" I asked him. He finished his breakfast and was drinking his coffee.

"I was following you"

"Why?"

"I told you, there is something with you that got my attention"

"Look, don' t get me wrong but I cant possibly have anything to get your attention.. I mean.. you know what I mean"

He looked at me in a weird way.

"If you finished your breakfast, there is something I wanted you to see" What is that? I never trust this kind of statements. No need to be tense now but where is he taking me? I should not resist right? It gets worse when you do that. Okay I'll just stand still.  
That can' t take too long. Funny how you always have to repay..

We were walking to a corridor, he was slow and calm but I was.. I don' t know what I was.. It is surprising to find out that I tend to trust him and scared of him at the same time. We stopped by a door. He looked at me.

"Usually I make you sign some papers first but you look like you may run away anytime so I' ve got no choice."

"What are you talking about? What is that?"

"There is a lot of things you don' t know about me Evelynn"

"Because I don' t know you"

"I am not sure if you would like to know me but if you will I want you to know me as I am"

He is looking at me with one hand on the door knob.

"You aren' t talking much you know? I just can' t read you" he said.

He stood, looked like he was thinking something. I could say he was unsure about something. He opened the door and stepped aside to make way for me. I was watching his face. I tuned my head to look inside the room... I can' t remember the rest...


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello you guys =) Here is the new chapter. I would be happy to see comments to keep me going =) thank you**

_Find Alessa.. Where is she? Is she safe? _

What was that? Who is Alessa? Why did she react this way?

She opened her eyes and drag me away from my thoughts.

"What happened?" she asked.

"You fainted"

She sat on the bed and looked away. She was thinking something, looking numbed

"Who is Alessa, Evelynn?"

She looked surprised,almost offended.

"How do you know about her?" she asked

"You were talking in your sleep. You were asking me to find her and if she was safe"

She waited for a minute, looking confused and did not know what to say

"She is just a friend. I don' t know why I said that"

"Do not ever lie to me Evelynn" I warned her.

"What happened back there?" she asked again.

"You entered the room and suddenly started to act weird. It was like I wasn' t even there and you were some place else. I tried to explain the... room.. but you were not listening and looking around , frightened."

She was listening, trying not to look at me and anywhere else but me. I kept on talking

"You panicked and tried to run away. Then you collapsed on the floor and started shaking and talking about your friend, Alessa"

No reply , no nothing

"Say something Evelynn"

"What do you want me to say?"

"You can start by telling me what the hell is wrong with you"

She looked at me, opened her mouth to say something in shock but stopped

"I know you commited suicide twice in high school. Why? Was Alessa a friend from the high school?"

"I... I can' t talk about that"

"Well, you have to"

"Look, please let me go. I can' t be here don' t you see?"

"No I don' t. You better start making some sense now."

"I can' t talk about that. Can' t you just show some respect? I understand you helped me and all but that' s gotta end here!"

"Do not raise your voice. Start talking"

"You are nothing but a stranger to me."

"So are you, but you are sleeping in my bed. I understand you want to keep things to yourself but this can' t go on like this. Maybe I can help you"

"No one can help me"

"You can' t know that. Tell me, Evelynn"

She looked at me like she was relieved. Like she wanted to talk to someone for a long time but she just could not. She took a deep breath and started;

"I have two step sisters and a step brother. My father ,Carl , is a railroad worker and my step mother is a nurse. Carl used to go away to work and you know... he was.. alone"

"Go on" I said settling on a couch.

"It was one of those times my mother got pregnant with me. She met my father in Kansas where he was working and they had an affair. I was born but my father did not know about me. When I was 3, my mother showed up to my father' s door and told him she coul not afford to raise me and left me there, leaving my father no choice but to take me"

She rached for her bag and fished her cigarette pack. She lit a cigarette and went on

"They never wanted me of course, his family. They had every right to. I came out of nowhere and ruined the family. Untill I was 12, I ran around in that house like a maid. I did every sort of work, from cleaning to baby sitting. Michelle, the youngest was born when I was 9. Luna, my step mother hated me. She used to beat me up telling me I was a product of sin when my dad was away, well my dad did not give a damn. She used to tell my dad a lot of things I haven' t even done. She did everything to make him hate me and think I was nothing but a trouble. She succeeded. They sent me to a boarding school when I was 12. I used to come back home in summers and continue my maiden status. Brooklyn, my elder sister, told them that she did not want to see me in the house and that how she could not explain about me to her friends and that I was emberassing her. They sent me to Oakland High, another boarding school."

She stopped. I did not have the littlest clue about what to say. I waited for her to continue.

"The school started. Everything was normal and I was used to boarding schools. I did not mind being there. After all , I was more peaceful when I was away. It was around January when things started to change. I was.. how do you say that.. noticing the looks my chemistry teacher was giving me. I did not think about it much but it was creeping me out."

She stopped. Her eyes started to fill, she put her cigarette out with shaky hands in a glass of water.

"One night I was sleeping in the dormitory. I heard the door opening and footsteps. Someone pulled away my cover slowly and I turned around to see Mr. Chestfield, my chemistry teacher. He closed my mouth with his hand and whispered me to come after him. He carefully went out and I got up to see what was going on. When I stepped out... three of my teachers was waiting there. Mr. Chestfield and the gym teacher.. Mr.. umm.. Westen I guess grabbed me by my arms and the other, I did not know him but I saw him around the school, told me to stay silent and I won' t get hurt. I was scared and it was cold, I remember I was barefeeted. They took me to the school basement... I remember lying on the floor , they were undressing me and it was.. so cold.. The gym teacher was pressing my head to the floor and I bearly could see and they were.. I don' t want to go to details."

She started to crying

"I was 13, you know.. When they were done, they asked me to dress up and go back to my bed. If anyone saw us I was going to tell them that my mother got sick and my father called the school to let me know in the middle of the night and that' s why he called me out. And thanks God she was okay now. When I got back to room I went to bath right away. There was blood between my ties and I got scared.. I got scared a lot I thought I was going to die. I sat there under the water like 40 minutes when the floor personel lady came to get me out. I told her the story and that I was so scared that my mother got sick. She did not see the blood and she put me back into bed telling me it was going to be okay. The next day I barely got up to attend the chemistry clas.. It kept going like this like 4 months. They were taking me out to a cabin in the woods around the school because it was risky to be in the basement anymoore. They used to tie my eyes so I could not see where we were going. Sometimes they were more than three but I don' t know who they were. One time, they beat me up so bad I lost concsious. When I woke up it was dark and I was lying under a tree covered in a blankett.I assume they thought I was dead and left me there. I was dressed, probably to make me look like I went to the woods to meet someone and it did not end well.I crawled back to the building. It took me until dawn I found the place. Everywhere is the same in the woods. I got in through the basement window. I knew the exit points in the building. I went straight to bed and did not attend the classes that day."

I felt my blood frozen in my vains. I was speechless. How could that happen? How can you rape a 13 year old girl and cover it ? They were supposed to be her teachers, protecting her. How cant anyone notice this?! Anger was crawling in my body and I wanted to.. do something about it.

"Alessa came to me and woke me up. She looked at the bruises around my never hit my face so they would not leave a mark. She started to crying and told me she went through the same things a year was an orphan with no family and she had no choice but staying.I was a freshman and she was in her last year. She told me that if I did not resist the damage would be minimum. How can you not resist, right? That night, I cut my arms with a razor I found in the common bathroom. They hospitalized me and told me not to speak to the police or they would kill me. I was a kid and I could not think that it would be worse than dying if I stayed silent about it. I did not say anything. They left me alone for a couple of days and told the police that I had a fight with an imaginary boyfriend. Teenagers tend to be suicidal so the police did not take it seriously. I wrote a letter to my father and told him everything. I asked him to take me from the school and send me another if he wants. I waited for days dreaming a father coming to my rescue and make everything allright. No one came, and there was no reply. A few years later I found out that it was my sister who got the letter and got rid of it. I tried to kill myself again, end it all but could not succeed. Again I was too sloppy to end my own life. Then I thought I should stop being so pathetic and find a way to end this. I started studying. I was being an entertainment every night and attend their classes, ignore their look and trying to learn every morning. Everyone in the dormitory was thinking I was a slut and I was meeting one of the boys everynight. I did not care. I passed that point of ashame a long time ago. There was an upcoming exam. If I passed it, I was going to go to Princeton High on full scholarship. It was my only chance. I studied until my eyes bleed and got the scholarship."

"I met Razor there. He was a complete trouble. " she could not help but smiling

"He became my best friend. Teachers hated us. I dont remember how many times we were cought smoking in the locker room" she laughed. "It was like my chance to get my revenge and I with Razor, made all of the school staff sorry they were born"

I had to meet this guy. It was the first time I saw her smiling and it was because of that guy. She falled asleep telling me how she and Razor became the teachers nightmare.


	7. Chapter 7

Broke,alone,broken,hurt.

It was her second day in my place.I kept her here for another day and she is definately recovering. I was struggling with my thoughts at the breakfast table. She was silent, again, eating. I could not stop having the fantasy that .. No, I was not going to take advantage of her.. But on the other hand..

"How are you after last night?" I asked

"Not bad.. I am actually glad I finally told someone" she said, looking at her plate.

I only shake my head and kept talking "Evelynn, I have a proposal for you"

She turned her head to look at me "Like what?"

"I know that you have financial difficulthighs. You haven' t been paying your rent for 3 months. I will give you whatever you need, I will pay your bills, your rent, your school expenses and other needs" I really wanted to give her everything, but I needed an excuse to do that, besides I wanted to see her in my room more than anything. I gave her a minute to think

"In exchange of? " she asked "no, wait. Let me guess, I' ll be your mistress or something like that, of course"

"A submissive, more likely but yes"

"A what?" she asked

"A submissive. Basically you will be mine and I will be using your body for my own needs. I will do whatever and whenever I want to do. You will be rewarded for your good behaviour and , of course, punished for not obeying"

She opened her eyes to look at me in shock. Of course it was understandable that she was reacting this way. I waited for another minute for her to say something. The silence was extended and I started to worry that she might run away.

"I can' t believe you can be this low, seriously, after everything I told you, you are standing there and telling me I can be a prostitute to you to put a plate on the table and you call this an offer. I... I really don' t think there is anything can be said to you" she said as she was turning away to leave. I grabbed her by the arm

"Don' t touch me! I hate to be touched! Don' t touch me.."

"Calm down!" I let her go. "It is not as scary as it sounds. You need it Evelynn. You have been living in this disorder for years, you don' t know which way to go and always end up loosing your sanity, I know that Evelynn, I have been there. Now I'm telling you that I can put you under the dicipline, protect you, satisfy your needs, lead you. I will have all the responsibility and control of you"

She turned around, looked at me like she was hypnotized "protect me?"

"Yes of course, look around you Evelynn, who can get to you when I' m here? I have a full security staff and every resource I need"

"So if they find me, you will protect me? Is that what you say?"

"What makes you think they will come back to get you?"

"They will.."

I had informed Welch about the school and the names she gave me and the results was.. frightening.. Everything she told me was true and it was even worse. Looks like they have turned this thing into a habit. They choose a girl, rape her, have others rape her for money. We have found three victims by now and one was dead. Suicide. The other was Alessa, the girl Evelynn told me about. Of course there was gotta be more victims.

"I will protect you. They will not get to you Evelynn" she was calming down. It gave her comfort to think that she would be safe for the first time. "You will have a room here, I' ll get you anything you want. Warm meal, a warm bed, you can study here and I have a helper to keep you in comfort." I felt sorry for how she became a soft kitten when it came to safety. I felt bad about using her weak points but I did not know any other way to keep her with me.

She looked at me with filled eyes and her face said everything. I could see how much she hated herself for what she was about to say.

"What do I do?"

"It will all happen in that room. We will start by teaching you the dicipline. I would actually ask for a lot of things but considering your inexperience, I am only going to ask you to braid you hair and go to the room. It will be unlocked and you will find a silk night dress on the bed. Wear it, sit right in front of the bed and wait for me, looking at the floor"

Although she looked confused, she turned around to follow the orders.

Bills, rent, safety... I've been hungry before, I've been homeless before. I can deal with that but, to be safe.. I need this. I am ashamed of myself so much but I need that so bad. Selling my body won' t be easy also won' t be a first, but I am so tired of locking my door three times and still not be able to sleep until dawn.

I braided my hair hastily and walked to the room. There was a short, white silk night dress on the bed. It had lace details on it, looked very nice. I was trying not to think about what happened to me before. This had to be different right? Well, at least there is only one guy. I could not stop shaking, I was breathing fast. I had to stay calm, this will be different, I promised myself. It was the first time I was going to bed with someone after ... them...

I dressed up and started to wait. It was cold, I hated that.. It was soo cold. Breathe Evelynn..

The door opened and he came in. His face was stone, merciless. He was only wearing worn jeans. He locked the door and came to stand in front of me.

"Did I allow you to look at me?"

What was that? It was scary.. I am not allowed to look at him.. I turned my eyes to the floor.

He took a sheet of paper and a pen from his back pocket.

"Sign this" he ordered

"Whats that?"

" A confidentiality agreement. It says you are not allowed to tell anyone what you see here"

It was fair enough. I would not want anyone to know about this as well. I signed the papers and handed them back to him.

"And no one will know I' m... doing this.. right?" I asked

"No one" he said and turned around to get something from the one of the closets.

He came back with a leather belt.. It looked like a belt , at least

"When we are here, I am your master and you will do whatever I ask without hasitating. You wont talk, you wont answer to me unless I allow you to. And we will need a safeword. When you feel like you wont be able to handle what I am doing to you , you will use it."

Wont be able to handle? What is he going to do to me?

"Um.. stop?"

"That wont be enough" he said. "You need a word"

"I dont know okay? just pick one" I said. I was not gonna sit and think about it. He thought a minute

"Dove"

"What?"

"When you feel like collapsing or feel too much pain or pleasure, you will say dove to stop me"

Dove... For the love of God. And that was bugging me as well. Stop him? What if I stop him anytime I feel like? If he wants my permission then why is he my master ?

He moved and I lifted my head in curiosity. Then I remembered that I was supposed to look at the floor and did so. I felt dizzy. I wanted to run away but it was too late wasnt it?

Now he was behind my back. It was getting colder I could swear. I suddenly shuddered with a pain on my back. He hit me with that thing, why? It hurt.. I tried not to move but my eyes filled,not only because of the pain, I knew that. The humiliation of being beaten like a wild animal, a puppet, these were the reason of the tears.

"I told you to look at the floor, not at the wall or anywhere else" he said and hit me again. This time it did not hurt that bad. He aimed my upper arm.

"Is that clear?" He waited. Then he hit my thigh and almost made me jump high. Oh God.. please... end this quick.

"Yes" I could say. Even I could barely hear my voice. Another strike.. on my back again..

"Yes what?" he said. He was so calm.

"Yes ..." I stopped. I could not stomach it. Another hit to my other tie. I was turning red

"Yes master, say it" he said patiently. Again, I could not stomach it. He hit me twice , both hurt really bad. I could not take it anymoore.

"Yes, master" I said.

"Good girl. Now get up and walk over to that wall" he ordered. I got up shakily and walked to the wall.

"Stop. Turn around.. good. On your knees" he said. I did what I was told. He first put handcuffs around my wrists. They were tight. Then he pulled my arms high by the cuffs and tied me on a hook. I was handcuffed and my arms were up above my head. It was getting painful. My legs started to ache. Metal was cold.. It was worse than the pain.

"Now I will teach you how to please me. We will spend the day for this." He was already looking pleased.

"How many times have you objected me since we met? How many times have you tested my patience? " No idea, I never did anything on purpose. I was just trying to protect myself.

"Now say it Evelynn, you wont object me" he hit me and the belt met my belly this time. Although I was still dressed, it hurt crazily.

I was a bit late to follow because of the pain and the shock of the situation. He hit me again. The more frequent his hits became, the more my screams raised in the room.

"Say it Evelynn" he ordered again. I gave up

"I.. I Wont ... object.. you.. master" He moaned when I said that. He was obviously enjoying this. I could tell he was getting hard. He kept on hitting me, some were soft and some were enough to fill my eyes with tears.

"You are here to please me, say it" I felt the leather again. I was becoming numb and.. I knew this feeling, I was about to black out.

"I.. am .. here ... here... to .. please you.. master"

"Good girl. You will do what I say"

"I.. will do what... you say" another strike

".. master" I could say. So many things were passing before my eyes. I started to confuse time and places. Where was I? I barely remember him dropping the belt on the floor. I could not even move, I ached all over. My eyes were half closed.

He undressed his jeans and bent down in front of me. He pushed my night dress up to my stomach. If I was to lose my conscious, I wished it happened at that moment, before he was in.. me. I remembered the feeling. Being filled and feeling like being ripped of between my legs. It hurt bad, made me remember a lot... a lot of things. He got out of me suddenly, angry. He slapped my thighs.

"It is an insult that you are not wet, you should know that" he said and grabbed my chin to lift my head.

"I am sorry... I am sorry" I said, I completely forgot where I was and who he was. I saw him spitting in his palm .He rubbed his palm between my thighs. I did not care. I' ve been through this before. I was on my knees, calling a man 'master'. Could I be any lower than this?

He was in me again. He was moving harshly and I was feeling like I was going down. I had to stand it. I had no other choice. If I stopped him, he could find me incompetent and broke the deal. I needed what he offered. I needed protection. I did that before and I could do it again. I was not a kid anymoore. I could handle it.

"Yess..." he hissed "like tihs.. be a good girl and take it.." and finally came. Holding me tightly he took a deep breath. Finally it was over. I needed to sleep so bad. I barely kept my eyes open.

He got up, wore his jeans and knelt before me. "You will stay here. I want you to think about how you can please me the best. Find a way to convince me to get you out of here and take you to a warm, comfortable bed so you can sleep for hours. You would want that?"

"Yes.." I said desperately. Yes I needed that. I could not stay here. I was cold, scared, hungry and exhausted.

"I want you to grow a connection between yourself and this room. Try to understand whats that all about. Try to understand the dicipline. If I am leaving you here right now, instead of rewarding you with a good meal and a comfortable bed and a long massage to comfort your aching body , it is your fault. Everything you will do will either result to your reward or punishment. I want you to think about that." He said. All I could think was that bed he promised me. What should have I done? I did not do anything. I waited for him to do whatever he wanted and he did. Where did I go wrong?

"Please..." I could whisper "Please dont leave me here.."

He looked at me, got up, walked to the door. I did not have the strenght to beg him to come back


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up, I was still tied up and barely felt my arms. It was dark. The door was opened and he walked in, turning on a little night lamp. The floor was cold and I was tired.

"Did you like your punishment?" he asked

"I did whatever you said" I said.

"What was the safe word Evelynn?" he asked. Safe word? It did not mean anything

"Safe word?"

"Yes, safe word. I told you to use it if you could not continue, but instead you waited and waited until you were blacked out. If I wanted you to faint over pain I would just hit you with a brick, right?"

Of course, what was that.. dove? I completely forgot about it. And suddenly I realized my aches were gone. How is that possible? I only felt a little tingling on my arms beceause I was still tied and a numbness on my legs since I was sitting on them , but how was that? Did I have a dream or something like that?

"Do you see how you exaggerate the pain in your head?" he asked as if he heard my thoughts. "The pain is in the head Evelynn, I did not hit you that hard, I' ve been doing this for a long time. If you tried to understand instead of believing I was trying to kill you or something, it was going to be easier" he explained.

So what was that? I thought I was hurt? Is that what he was saying, that I was not actually hurt?

"You will be a bit sore and that's all" he said. It was true in a way but the pain between my thighs was real. He started to untie me and my arms hurt a bit, fuck what he said. I was tired.

He hold me in a strange, motherly way and took me upstairs to a bedroom. I could not look around because I was about to fall asleep. He put me on the bed and removed the night dress. He was not talking. The room was warm and the bed was incredibly soft as he promised.

He grabbed a bottle from the night stand. He started to massage my legs and arms with a oily, creamy thing. It was relaxing. I streched my legs and turned to my right side. He smiled.

"You little kitten" he said. I streched my arms this time and turned to my left when he was massaging my back. I actually liked it. I did not care that he was touching me. I hated to be touched but this was different than _touching._ He massaged my wrists and turned me on my back to massage my stomach. I loved it the best. It made me feel like sleeping.

"Am I hearing a purr?" he said smiling.

"Get up and sit" he said as he held my hand. He dressed me in soft pyjamas. That felt great.

"Now go to sleep" he ordered me, he was different. I was really confused but the sleep was far overweigh. I wished there was no room, no any of this things he wanted to do to me and I wished he was always like this.

I woke up by 7 am in the morning. It was a rainy day. I got up the bed and made my way to her room. I opened the door and found her still sleeping. I was relieved for a moment, I don' t know why. I closed the door and remembered how cute she was when I was massaging her. Seems like she loved aftercare.

I was too lazy to take a shower. It was a sunday morning and I had a right to be a bit lazy. I went to kitchen.

"Good morning mr Grey. What would you like to have for breakfast?" Gail asked me.

"Mushroom omlette and dark coffee, please Gail" I said. I turned on the tv to watch economy news. _When is she going to wake up? _Shut up and watch Grey. _I want to see her should I go back to her room and check her again? _She is not dead Grey shut up and watch this shit, or drink coffee or do whatever you do!

I finished my breakfast, browsed the newspaper, had another coffee.. It was 10.37 am and she was still sleeping. Allright that' s it! I am sending Taylor upstairs to bring her here! Oh right.. Taylor was not doing this sort of things.

I went to my study room to handle some paper works. Since when the sunday mornings was such a bore? And since when Gail was here on sundays? Oh shit! I forgot to tell her she was off friday night and she must have thought I needed her here. The room was soundproof and all but, still it was odd. Damn..

The door was opened and Evelynn walked in. She turned her eyes to the floor when she saw me. She was embarassed and flushed.

"This is not the bathroom" she said. She made me smile.

"No, I dont think so" I said. She closed the door and left.

She was in the bathroom for like 40 minutes now. I was worried. I knocked on the door.

"Evelynn?" No response. I opened the door and walked in. The water was running.

"Evelynn? Are you in there?" I asked

"Yes, what do you want?" she said

"Come out and eat something"

"I' m not hungry, I will go home"

I grabbed a bathrobe and walked towards to the shower. I pulled the shower curtain and she froze in fear. I looked the other way to make her calm down.

"Get out and wear this" I said. She took the robe and got out. I turned my head to look at her.

"Did you try to strip of your skin or something? You are as red as a lobster"

"I was filthy" she said.

"God.. put on some cream for God's sake and dont ever do this again."

She came to kitchen for lunch. She sat on the table, smelling shampoo.

"Would you like wine?" Gail asked her while filling my glass

"No" she said. For some reason, I sensed she did not like Gail.

"How are you? Are you tired?"

"Not really" she said. She was well rested.

The doorbell rang and I got excited like a little boy. It must have been my delivery. Gail answered the door and and came back with two wrapped boxes.

"Where do you want me to put these mr Grey?"

"Evelynn's room"

Evelynn looked at the packages, puzzled.

"After you finish your lunch, I want you to go to your room and open up the packages"

"Whats in them?" she asked

"New clothes and accessories. I want to take you somewhere tonight"

"I dont feel like going out to dinner or something"

"Not like that. I am going to take you to a club"

"I dont do going to club and dancing sort of things" she said

"This is not like any club you know"


End file.
